Just ask Matt and Mello
by MostlyxShortxStories
Summary: I know you've all been dying for answers to your questions about everyone's favorite gamer and chocoholic. Don't deny it ;D. 'Just ask Matt and Mello' will have your answers for everything! Rating changed due to suggestive themes ;D.
1. Intro

**A/N: Alright, I just _had _to do one. It just looked so tempting!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, or the characters. I only own their answers :D.

Alright kiddies, its time to ask those questions that I'm sure have been bottled up inside for a long time now! I know I have some ;D. But I won't ask.

So I'm sure you all know the basics, unless you're a spineless monkey o.O. Ask your questions and I'll have them up with answers like the next day or two.

Merry Christmas!

;D.


	2. Round One

**Okay, first question is from K8 Dunn! Let's see how this couple decides to answer :D.**

Hi you guys! My name is K8 Dunn, and I'd like to ask some questions.

For Matt:

Why did you take up smoking and gaming?

For Mello:

Who would kick Near's ass harder: L or Matt?

**Matt: **Mmkay, well I took up smoking because Mello, being the big fat moose that he is, wouldn't let me have any of his chocolate.

**Mello: **You're damn right I won't!

**Matt:**...You know he spent my hacking money on his goddamn Godiva. That shit isn't even that good! Anyways, gaming is my thing because once again, fucking Mello wouldn't let me join his little daytime sewing circle group, a.k.a. the mafia. So with nothing else to do, I turned to video games, my virtual savior :D.

**Mello: **It wasn't a goddamn sewing circle! It was an intricately organized crime syndicate!

**Matt: **Yeah, thats why they died.

**Mello: **Shut up! Its my turn now! Ok, so, are you fucking kidding me? Matt can't fight 'cause he sits on his big fat moosey ass all day playing video games!

**Matt: **That's not nice Mels.

**Mello: **Shut the fuck up! I'm ranting! As for L, _maybe _he could kick that pasty kid's ass, but I doubt it. I mean hey, those sweets are bound to catch up with him sometime right?

**L: **You can burn calories by using your brain.

**Mello:**...Nobody asked you!

**MostlyShortStories: Ok guys, thats all the time we have for today! Thank you K8 Dunn! I'll be waiting :].**

* * *

**A/N: I guess you guys can call this a practice run, lol. Merry Christmas!**


	3. Round Two

**A/N: Heh. Sorry I haven't updated. I've been busy :/. But anyways, here's your questions and answers! Oh, and I'm going by Molly in now :]. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or Hersheys.**

* * *

**Okay, first is LittleFanGirl!**

Wassup Guyyss? My name's LittleFanGirl and i have some loveelllyy questions  
for you.

First up; Mello.

- If you resent being mistaken for a girl so much why do you insist on wearing  
your hair like one?

Matt.

- Why the goggles?

And also, do either of you have any funny or embarrassing secrets to tell about  
the other?

**Mello: **That's not a lovely question! That's a stupid one!

**Molly: **Calm down, chica. Just answer the question, and Hersheys walks free.

**Mello: **You wouldn't dare.

**Molly: **Oh, I would. *evil smirk*

**Mello: **Ok, I guess I'm pretty much _forced _to answer. Well, I _do _hate being mistaken for a girl, but, come on, if I didn't, Matt wouldn't think I was sexy anymore!

**Matt: **Hehe. That's right.

**Molly: **Matt, answer your question. NOW! Before blondie has a fit.

**Matt: **Alright, alright, bossy. Ok, so why the goggles? Why _not?_ I'm damn sexy in them.

**Mello: **Pfft, not as sexy as me.

**Matt: **Shut up, I'm about to answer her next one. Umm, well, if I told you, Mello would deny me some awesome man-butt-sex, so I can't say anything :/. Sorry.

**Mello: **Yeah, that's right. Keep your mouth shut. Ok, well, every funny and embarrassing secret about Matt involves me as well, except, I wasn't the one with the embarrassing moment. It's all Matt, but I can't tell you, or else I would be forced to kill you. Actually, I probably wouldn't have to be forced; I would just do it. Killings my thang. That's how I got into the Mafia.

**Matt: **You mean, your daytime sewing-circle group.

**Mello: **Shut. The. Hell. Up. Mail.

**Matt: **Heh. They all die, ya know. Somehow, someone got their address, and that old saggy guy and his team came and raided your little group. I think you guys were in the middle of knitting, this time?

**Mello: **...

**Light: **Hehe, and they have no clue how it happened.

**L: **Kiraaaa!

**Molly: **LLLLLL!

**L: **Mooooolly!

**Mello: **Maaaaaaat!

**Matt: **Mellooooooo!

**Light: **Liiiiiiightt!

**Everyone: **...

**Mello: **I think my chocolate is coming back up. *runs away like a frightened blond kitty*

**Matt: **Umm, I'm gonna go...comfort Mello.

**L:** I'll go with you, for, uh, moral suppot.

**Molly: **Yeah...and...that's all the time we have for today. See ya...next time...hopefully.

**Light: **No one ever wants to play with the psycho :(

* * *

**AfterNote: Do blond kitties even exist? Well, I guess they're more like orange-ish. Ha.**


	4. Round Three

**A/N: Hey, Molly here :D. Alright, well, I just had a job interview, so if I get the job, which I more than likely will, (not boasting or anything), I really won't be updating much and it might take a while longer to answer questions :/. But don't worry, kuz it's only a seasonal job, so it'll be for two weeks, unless they decide to make it permanent or my work experience starts after Christmas. But there's the forewarning to my reviewers, subscribers, and readers. Oh and this is a long one! Hehe. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, sheep, or any PMSing pregnant women.**

* * *

**Molly: **Ok, VermillionStar, here are your answers!

**VermillionStar: **Okay, so...

I'm a new stalker... er... READER! Of yours. I really enjoy reading your  
stuff! I have a few questions for Matty and Mells.

Mello: Do you eat anything other than chocolate? I mean, L has a variety of  
foods, but all you're ever seen eating is chocolate.. and the same KIND. Don't  
you ever get sick of it?

Matt: I got this question idea from DeviantArt. Have you ever, say... made a  
sim that looks like Mello so your sim can date it? You know, just wondering...

And for the both of you, when did you start dating? (I debate with myself  
whether it should be before or after they joined the MAFIA)

**Mello: **Well, have you seen me eat anything other than chocolate? No? Ok then, there's your answer.

**Molly: **Be nice, hothead.

**Mello: ***grumble grumble*. Well _L _might have a different variety, but he's a sweet-toothed, hentai insomniac. He needs at least _ten _different types of sugars to keep his mind focused on his work and off of Light.

**L: ***blushes furiously*

**Mello: **But I don't see how he can be unfocused with that brunette psycho-killer in the room. That guy's ego is the size of Matt's-

**Matt: **Mello!

**Mello: **-plasma t.v. He's too..engorged with himself half the damn time. Have you seen his hair? And how _shiny _it is? Oh, and my chocolate may _look_ like the same kind, but I'm actually eating very different types. And no. I do not 'get sick' of it. That'd be like Matt getting sick of video games.

**Matt: **Don't say that!

**Mello: **Shut up! It's your turn to answer your fucking question!

**Molly: **Sir! One more outburst like that and I'll have you escorted out of the room! Now, Matt-kun, please answer your question.

**Matt: **Damn, I'll have to remember to shoot that damn DeviantArt. Oh, and, umm, wel, y-you see, umm...I've made plenty of sims that look like Mello, so my sim can, _do things with it. _Dating included.

**Molly: **What kinds of things Matt-kun?

**Matt: **T-that's classified!

**Mello: **Pfft, baby. Ok, well, I've read a lot of fan-fiction about Matty and I, and they all like to write about how we were dating _before _the Mafia. But that just leads to drama and cliche endings. So, we decided, for the sake of our sanity, that we would start dating _after _the Mafia. But then again, those stories have cliche endings too. Ah hell, ya know what? Just keep debating with yourself. I could care less.

**Matt and Molly: **Geez.

**Mello: **What?

**Molly: **Way to show how much you love him, Mells.

**Mello: **...

* * *

**Molly: **You guys have more questions to answer! And they're from the very first person to ask: LittleFanGirl!

**LittleFanGirl: **I think I'm gonna ask some more questions...

Mello: What are your TRUE feelings for Near? And don't say hate or rivalry..cause we all know its deeper than that ;)

Matt: Would you rather relinquish cigarettes for 2 months or be faced with a chocolate deprived Mello for a lifetime?

Who would you say has the most power within the relationship? ^_^

**Mello: **Well, there was this _one _time...

**Matt: **Mello...what the hell?

**Mello: **But it was like two days before you showed up!

**Matt: **So I'm just the rebound guy?

**Mello: **No! Of course not! I-I...goddammit! I hate the pasty little sheep!

**Matt: **I guess so. Anways, I would rather give up cigarettes for two months than be faced with a chocolate-less Mello. Oh God, if he even goes five minutes without that heart-clogging junk, he's like a blond PMSing pregnant chick.

**Mello: **Can chicks still PMS when they're pregnant?

**Matt: **I don't know. Can they?

**Molly: **Hey! Don't cha'll look at me! I'm only eighteen!

**L: **Technically, most chicks have already had a baby by the time they're your age. Actually, about 33.3%-

**Molly: **Don't bring your freakin logic into this, panda-boy!

**L: **Yes ma'am.

**Matt: **Hey, don't we have one more question to answer?

**Mello: **Yeah, I'll answer it. _I'm _the one with the most power in this relationship, _not _the ginger.

**Matt: **I'm a brunette! Not a ginger! Get it right!

**Mello: **Shut up and get your ass in the bed! You need to be taught a lesson.

**Matt: **Yes master.

**Molly: **Woah. Umm, as always, thats it for today.

* * *

**AfterNote: I apologize for it being late! I've been caught up in quite a bit, and maybe I shouldn't have made that promise to have it up the next or two. Hehe. Anyways, I'll also be accepting L and Light questions, since I'm gonna start bringing them in a bit more. Merry Christmas!**


	5. Round Four

**BeforeNote: Hehe, things are going pretty good :D. **

**Here's what you should listen to: What's Love Got To Do With It, by Tina Turner.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or Tina Turner.**

**

* * *

**

Molly:

We all love her. Her name is LittleFanGirl, and she's back with more! This time, Mello doesn't have a question to answer.

**Mello: **That hurts my pride.

**Molly:** Suck it up, Mafia boss. Go ahead LittleFanGirl!

**LittleFanGirl: **In true stalker fashion...here come more questions!

L : How d'you feel about the fact that you failed to defeat Kira?

Matt: What is the one thing in the world you hate the most? And by thing i  
mean an inanimate object NOT a person ^_^

**L: **I knew I was right, but without solid evidence, I couldn't arrest him. But I'm _L, _I'm always right.

**Molly: **That wasn't exactly the answer she was looking for.

**L:** Sigh. It felt...umm. What's the word I'm looking for?

**Light: **Terrible? Abhorrent? Heartbreaking? Dire?

**L: **...Something of that sort. But in the end, Near beats him.

**Molly: **Go Near! Yes, Light fans, I hated Light. Ok, Matt-kun! Where are you?

**Matt: **Must I answer? I really don't feel in the mood, and my ass fucking hurts.

**Mello: **You deserved it. Now answer your question like a good dog.

**Matt: **...I hate when Mello won't drag his fat lazy ass to the store to buy me new batteries for my gameboy color. He has a bitch fit, but it's perfectly okay for him to yell at me and threaten me to go to the store for his fucking chocolate. Honestly, what did I do to deserve this kind of torture?

**Molly: **Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

**Mello: **You fucking breathe! That's what!

**Molly: **Ok, while we go calm Mafia Queen down and comfort Matt, we'll look at some more questions, sent in by Miss Jessi-Pon.

**

* * *

**

**Miss Jessi-Pon: **So. I just thought I should let u know that you two are fucking amazing.

Matt- I didn't know what awesome was until I saw you in death note! Why the  
fuck? Also, were u third in Whammy's because u didn't try? I mean, except for  
Mello would be hate to u, why didn't try for first?

Mello- Just letting you know you turned me into a freaking Chocoholic! I also  
didn't know what sexy was till I saw you Mels, so don't worry I'm not going to  
try to steal ur Matty. (That's kinda impossible) Also, what's your opinion on  
sweet tarts?

Both- So what's both of yours favorite position? And mello don't answer for  
Matt, cuz we all know your gunna snicker, smirk then say doggy style or  
something :/

**Matt: **Well thank you. At least _someone _appreciates me.

**Molly: **I appreciate you Matt-kun!

**Matt: **Thanks, but that hint was directed Mello.

**Molly: **-gigglesnort-

**Matt: **Umm, yeah. Anyways, yes, I did not try. You know, I didn't really care about The Wammy's House. I only cared about Mello. I had a fucked up life before I was thrown into a bunch of orphanges and before The Wammy's House, so when I got to Wammy's, it was like, eh. Plus, I had brains enough already, so I didn't need to try, and no, Mello wouldn't hate me. But yeah, I didn't try for first, because I just didn't care, especially 'cause of my abused past.

**Mello: **This isn't a fucking soap opera, so quit whining about your past already. Nobody cares.

**Matt: **I wasn't complaining, I was answering a question.

**Mello: **Whatever. No one cares about what happened to you.

**Matt: **Fuck you Mello. We're through.

**Molly: **Uh-oh.

**Mello: **Whatever. Now I can answer my question. You're a chocoholic now? Yeah? Well whoop-de-fucking-do. And he's not my 'Matty' anymore. We're over now, apparently. So you can have him. And I fucking hate sweet tarts!

**Molly: **Poor Matt-kun.

**Mello: **Heh. -smirk-. Well it _was _doggy style, but Matt...liked every position. And, he was so cute when he would make those little sounds when we were...busy. And...and. Fuck.

**Molly: **Miss him?

**Mello: **...maybe. -runs off-.

**Molly: **Heh. Well, while Mello goes to find Matt-kun, we have one more set of questions from BloodlyCherryBlossom.

* * *

**BloodlyCherryBlossom**

L:I LOVE U!how dose it feel to be super smart

Matt:R U THE UKE OR SEMEN I LOVE U

Mello:do u love matt and how munch

**L: **Umm, I love you too, Stalker-chan. Well, it feels great, but it's really overwhelming at times. Sometimes I have to dumb things down a bit so illiterate baboons can understand what I'm saying.

**Molly: **Aww, poor L-chan. Want a panda cookie so you can savagely bite its head off while you speak of Kira?

**L: **Yes, that would be nice.

**Molly: **Here ya go L-chan. Oh look, it seems as if our favorite couple is back! Welcome back guys!

**Matt: **Hey, Molly-san. Mello loves me again.

**Mello: **Twat, I never stopped.

**Matt: **-ignore-. I'm sure you already know, BloodlyCherryBlossom-san, that I am, in fact, the uke.

**Mello: **Aww babe, you can be seme tonight.

**Matt: **Really?

**Mello: **No. And to answer your question, BloodlyCherryBlossom-san, I love Matt-kun with all my heart. In fact, I want to ask him something very important.

**Molly: **Le gasp!

**Mello: **Matt-kun, will you marry me?

* * *

**Molly: ****To be continued next round.**


	6. Round Five

**Molly: Hi! Umm, I don't have much of a beforenote here, so I'll just put in a suggested listening.**

**Tina Turner: What's Love Got To Do With It.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, Tina Turner, or any of her songs.**

_

* * *

Recap from previous chapter_

**_Mello: _**_Matt-kun, will you marry me?_

* * *

**Matt: **Oh. My. Fucking. God. Mello. Are you serious?

**Mello: **Yes, Mail Jeevas. I'm serious. I love you, and I'm looking forward to the rest our lives together. So will you?

**Matt: **Of course I will! Hell yeah!

**Everyone: **Congratulations you two!

**Molly: **Time for wedding planning!

**Misa: **That's Misa-Misa's job!

**Molly: **You're not included, Baka-chan. So get out!

**Misa: **-dies of mysterious heart attack-

**L: **Kira!

**Light: **What? I didn't do anything this time.

**L: **Got'cha.

**Light: **-facepalms-

**Molly: **Haha. Stupid bastard. That's what you get! Anyways, yet another set of questions, and from 494dwangel.

**494dwangel: ***squeels* they r getting married...

Matt; I would like you to poetically describe your feelings for mello...

Mello; your holi-fuckin-awesomeness, would u believe my nickname was promptly  
changed to mello when i first saw you i believe we r so alike...anyway, What  
was the real reason you were hell-bent on avenging L because we both know you  
don't lov L...

**Matt: **Okay, here goes my sappy-self.

Mello, oh Mello,  
My beautiful fellow,  
Your eyes are ever so blue.  
Your golden blond hair,  
Just makes me stare,  
I love it when you play the cello.

Mello, my love,  
My beautiful dove,  
You scare everyone in the house.  
During Christmas season,  
You're the reason,  
That there's not even a stirring mouse.

Mello, my dear,  
With your shining gear,  
Of metal guns and pocket knives galore.  
The Mafia queen,  
Who remains to be seen.  
Our love will last through the years.

**Mello: **That was very sappy, but I loved it.

**Matt: **-girlish queal-

**Mello: **He's OOC today. Anyways, yay, I'm glad your name is like mine. -eye roll-. Anyways, I was determined to beat Near, that stupid albino!

**Molly: **But you only helped him, and then you died.

**Mello: **Shut. Up. And L's alright, but I don't love him. At least, not howI love Matt.

**L: **I would hope not.

**Light: **Who would love you anyways? Your eating habits are disgusting, you don't sleep regularly, you handcuffed me to you so you could 'keep an eye on me to make sure I wasn't kira'-

**L: **But you just proved yourself to be kira not more than ten minutes ago.

**Light: **That's not my point you overstuffed-

**L: **And you can't deny that you did not enjoy the time you were handcuffed to me.

**Light: **But that's-

**L: **I mean, how could anyone forget the moment in the tub when you-

**Light: **Shut the fuck up Lawliet!

**L: **-stare-

**Mello & Matt: **-head shake-

**Molly: **Umm...see ya next time!

* * *

**Molly: For those questions that I did not answer, I'll answer them in the next chapter either tonight or tomorrow! Merry Christmas!**


	7. Round Six

**BeforeNote: Okay, so I'm sure you've all seen my quick update. Anyways, so completely sorry! But now, we have some questions that need answering :).**

**Suggested Listening: Yokan, by Dir En Grey.**

**Disclaimer: I don't Dir En Grey, Yokan, Christmas carols, and a whole buncha other shit.**

**

* * *

**

**Okay, here's a comment from 494dwangel.**

**494dwangel: **awesome...mattie loved the poem it was lmao funny...mello there is no need to be sarcastic it's only my nickname.

**Matt: **Heh, thanks scary chick!

**Mello: **Tch, whatever.

**Molly: **Whatever your ass, leather queen. Anyways, LittleFanGirl also has a comment!

**LittleFanGirl: **Wow! That poem was just..well it was... *GirlishSqueal*

**Matt: **Eh, hehe, it wasn't that great.

**Molly: **Someone's blushing! Oh, and LittleFanGirl has more questions!

**LittleFanGirl: **Mello you adorable little thing!

So i have more questions... *ShiftyEyes*

But this time i have some for Raito *EvilSmirk*

Raito: Sooo...What REALLY happened when L handcuffed himself to you?  
*PervertedGrin*

Why couldn't you have just punched Misa in the face the first time you saw her  
and told her to piss off?

What's with the awkward manner in which you eat potato chips?

Mello: What would you do if hypothetically...Someone found you and just  
like...went all scissor hands on your hair and cut it all off?  
*MoreShiftyEyes*

Matt: As much as I love you...can you be a good dog and go get Near for me?

**Raito/Light/Kira: **Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

**L: **Liar. Plenty of things happened. They involved the handcuffs, the strawberry I gave Matsuda, or was it Soichiro? Oh, and Misa's stilletos and the tennis rackets we used.

**Raito/Light/Kira: **-facepalms- Oh, and I could have punched her and all that, but then she wouldn't have been able to cover up for me during the whole Kira investigation. Oh, and my awkward mannerisms? Bitch please, I'm just _that _sexy.

**Everyone: **...

**Mello: **-cough cough-

**Molly: **Umm, okay. Mello, your turn.

**Mello: **Well, I'd blow their brains out and use them to make chicken noodle soup for Mattie the next time he gets sick. Then, I'd chop off their fingers and toes and use them as ornaments for my Christmas tree. The rest of their body would be put in a meat grinder, packaged, and dropped off in Texas for the chainsaw guy's family to serve to people in their little diner in the middle of nowhere. Hypothetically, of course.

**Matt: **Brains sound yumm!

**Mello: **He's OOC again today. Hope no one gets too pissy about that.

**Matt: **Mmm, brains. Oh, I'm not a dog! And I won't get Near for you! Mello would hurt me and deny me some smokin hot-

**Mello: **Mattie!

**Matt: **-beef jerky.

**Mello: **Gah. Wait, maybe we can feed Near to her!

**Molly: **Bad Mello!

**Mello: **Ow! What the fuck?

**Molly: **We do not feed albinos to loyal readers.

* * *

**Molly: **Okay, time for some new questions by BloodlyCherryBlossom!

**BloodlyCherryBlossom**

near:eeeeekkkkkk! i love you so much why r u so cute!

mello:hi i love chocolat whats your fave

L:love u have u ever read a lightXL fanfic

Light:i hate u

**Near: **Can no one type correctly? And, I doubt I'm very..._cute. _Mello always comments on how I'm, 'the sorriest sack of shit to ever grace the unfortunate universe with my presence.'

**Mello: **Heh, 'cause it's true.

**Near: **...

**Molly: **Shut up. You're just mad 'cause you unknowingly gave him a heads up on who Kira was. _And _you died!

**Mello: **Are you gonna mention that in every chapter?

**Molly: **Keep it up and I might have to.

**Matt: **Heh, 'keep it up'. Heh.

**Mello: **Fucking perv.

**Matt: **You love it.

**Molly: **O...kay. Matt, stop giving him those sick puppy eyes and let him answer his question.

**Mello: **_Finally _free! Chocolate is spelled with and 'E' at the end. And my favorite is Hershey's milk chocolate. I can't get enough of it, especially when it's on Mattie.

**Matt: **-blush-

**L: **While they discuss their bedroom life, I must answer. Stalker-chan, I can't say I love you back, seeing as you're a stalker and I have no idea who you are. And yes, I've read quite a few about Raito and myself. -shudder- Please don't make me relive those memories.

**Raito/Light/Kira: **You know you want to. Come on, don't you want to reenact the pony scene? Oh, and I hate you too, BloodlyCherryBlossom.

**Molly: **Woo! Hate-fest!

**Mello: **I hate Raito!

**Raito/Light/Kira: **I hate criminals! And lazy people! And Misa! And Matsuda! And the rest of the task force!

**Everyone: **...

**Molly: **That's all for now!


	8. Round Seven

**BeforeNote: Umm...lol? Sorry, I really don't have much to say, except, enjoy!**

**Suggested Listening: Disabled Complexes by Dir en Grey.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, My Little Pony, Dir en Grey or their song Disabled Complexes. I don't own any of their songs, so stop looking at me like that.**

**

* * *

**

**Molly**: Okay! Here's some more from LittleFanGirl!

**LittleFanGirl**: I've asked way too many questions to stop now...So i'm not going to ^_^

Near: Do you dye your hair white? And whatever the answer to that question...I think you should dye it a rather outrageous colour just for fun...Like blue or green or something...

Mello: If Near refuses to dye his hair an awesome colour will you help me do it when he's asleep?

Matt: Whose hair is softer, your's or Mello's?

Near, Matt and Mello: What's the best memory each of you have of Wammy's? XD

**Near: **…no. I was…born that way. And I will _not _dye it some outrageous color. Those colors can be saved for Matt-kun and Mello-kun. And I never sleep…

**Molly: **Okay, insert freaky demon music here.

**Mello: **Yes! I shall help you dye the sheep's hair! We should do it pink, so he'll look like cotton candy, and then we can feed him to you!

**Molly: **What did I tell you about feeding characters to loyal readers and reviewers?

**Mello: **-grumble grumble-

**Molly: **Thought so. Matt-kun!

**Matt: **Huh? Oh yeah! Umm, I _have _to say Mello's, or else he won't let me lick his-

**Mello: **Matt!

**Matt: **-shoes clean.

**Molly: **Oh my.

**Near: **I would say it was the time that Roger took all of the children to the museum, and I stayed behind because it was the only time that my Megatron and I could have to ourselves. So Megatron and I were alone in my room and….

**Everyone: **-stare-

**Near: **Umm, no best memories.

**Matt: **_My _best memory is when…umm….I'm not allowed to say. They all involved a naked Mello and I, a leather whip, and…mangos.

**Mello: **That's right bitch, keep your mouth shut. _I'll _tell her. Okay, so Matt and I decided we would use the leather whip to smash open some mangos.

**Molly: **Then why were you naked?

**Mello: **'Cause mangos stain clothes! Do you know how hard it is to get mango stains out of _cotton_?

**

* * *

**

**Molly: **On with the next questions! And from Toxic-Melody

**Toxic-Melody: **I have questions!

Mello-...I dislike chocolate but ur still sexy

Matt-how'd life be if mello didn't apologize to you?

Light-I love your idea of a new criminal free world but shouldn't u kill itself since your killing people?

Near-Your so kawaii!I would like to join your team how can I join?

L-Ill give you a cookie if you say,"I love you sushi with all of my heart.I'll stop eating sweetes for you."Even though you'll be lying

Molly-Would youblike my tranquilising gun so if mello pisses you off you can shoot him?

Misa-When will you notice that Light love your shinigami eyes?

Ryuk-...Apples?...Why?

Matt-What were you thoughts when they started shooting at you?

Mello-...I dislike chocolate :3 but your still sexy

Matt-Did you ever like near?

L-My sister loves you and I would like you to say,"I love you xcv_2013 aka sushi!"And I'll give you a cookie

Molly-How do you feel about working with mello?Do you want to borrow my gun to shoot him?

**Mello: **Thank you, thank you very much –bow-

**Matt: **Life would be like an unsharpened pencil: _pointless_.

**Mello: **Booooo! Ow! Now what?

**Molly: **Be nice to Matty-kins.

**Light: **I am _justice _beeotch! And some damn sexy justice.

**Everyone: **_Again? _

**Light: **Those bitches deserved to die, and I didn't!

**Molly: **Yes, you did.

**Light: **Gahh! –pulls hair out-

**Molly: **L-chan, please come and make your love calm down.

**L: **Only if I get a cookie.

**Molly: **Yes, yes you will.

**Near: **Umm, I've been told that a lot lately. And you _can't _join my team. You need years and years of gruesome training, training that tests your abilities to overcome many hardships and obstacles! Training that tests your knowledge of reading between the lines and overcoming the misogynistic bullshit of this world!

**Mello: **Near, coloring in you're _My Little Pony _coloring book doesn't count as gruesome training.

**Near: **…right.

**L: **Sorry, Molly-chan already gave me a cookie :3.

**Molly: **Why thank you Toxic-Melody! I would love it –evil smirk-

**Mello: **Heh. Tranquilising guns don't scare me.

**Molly: **-shoot-

**Mello: **Hehe. It's an elephant on a unicycle! –K.O.!-

**Misa: **-gasp- Really Light-chan? You love my shinigami eyes? Oh you make Misa-Misa so happy!

**Light: **Get her off!

**Molly: **Nope, this is too good! Oh look, here comes Ryuk to answer his question!

**Ryuk: **Why apples? Because…they make good bedtime snacks. Umm, I think it's Matt's turn.

**Matt: **Right. My thoughts were as follows: 'Oh fuck my life. _They're _here. Heh. I wonder how Mello's doing. Oh, look, a flying bullet. Ooo, twenty-five more flying bullets. Oh man, hit the deck! Damn, I didn't get to finish this cigarette. Better take one last puff while I can.'

**Molly: **Umm, sad and funny? Well, Mello is knocked out, so he can't answer that one. Well, he did already anyways. Okay Matt-kun, you have another.

**Matt: **Yeah, I liked him. He was a cool guy. Kinda, sheepy, and pasty, a little quiet. But he wasn't like obnoxious Mello.

**Near: **I am _not _a sheep.

**Molly: **-pet- Nice sheepy. Be nice.

**L: **I love you xcv_2013 aka sushi. Can I have my cookie now?

**Molly: **Yes, yes you can. And I like workin' with Mello. He's…meh. He's different. And yes, I would very much like your gun

**L: **Ooo, my cookie is rainbow flavored!

**Molly: **…See ya next time!

* * *

**AfterNote: Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Matt and Mello's wedding. That should be up in a couple of chapters! Happy New Year's!**


	9. Round Eight

**BeforeNote: Ok, so, I live in Ontario, California. And the other night, I was at the USO in Ontario. I used the laptop there, and guess what! I typed in ff(dot)net in the browser, and apparently, someone was there before me and came on this site! I was like, omg, almost doing a happy dance. Except this person looked up Ouran High School, or something like that. I've heard of that before, but I've never read anything from it. But yeah, I just had to point that out :). So person who went to the USO the other night, hola! Oh, and I started a new story called 'Babysitting Project'. I've only got the first chapter up, but you should definitely check it out! Please! The other chapters will be up sometime this week :).**

**Suggested Listening: Unthinkable, by Alicia Keys.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or Alicia Keys and her songs :).**

**

* * *

**

**Molly: **Okay, so we have some questions from Lii and Eii.

**Lii and Eii: **i hate them too, light. besides matsuda and L and near...

MELLO URSO COOOOOL～ swoon

light: what were your thoughts when you died?

L: ur cooool～ why are your eyes so dark?

near: do you hate mello too? D:

ryuk: what would you do if light ate all your apples?

mello: why are you so awesome?

**Mello: **Yes. Yes I am. How kind of you to notice.

**Light: **Hmph!

**Molly: **What a baby. L-san, your turn now :).

**L: **Why, thank you. My eyes are this way because I never sleep at night. You know the saying; 'evil never sleeps.'

**Molly: **But you're not evil L-san.

**L: **I can be. –evil smirk- Near-chan, your turn.

**Near: **I like Mello. Very much. –stare-

**Molly: **Oh my. Yay! Ryuk is here!

**Ryuk: **Hehehe. If Light ate my precious, red dumplings, I'd write his name down in my Death Note. Simple as…apple pie. I must try apple pie now. Oh, and Mello has another question to answer. This was is more than likely to feed his oversized ego.

**Mello: **You're damn right it is. And I'm awesome because I'm _Mello. _Duh.

**Molly: **Umm, time for new questions!

* * *

**Xcv_2013: **Once again thank u for "making" L saying he loved me! I'm eternally grateful! Now here are some questions!

L: I'm xcv_2013 aka Sushi! Would it be ok if I glomp you? I'm a fangirl who loves your intelligence!  
Light: I hate you :3  
Mello: I got you some chocolate. Oh and who's your hairstyler? I love your hair!  
Near: I hate you :3  
Misa: can I steal your clothes?  
Matt: I don't hate you, but can I stab you?  
Oh and Ryuk...I lost my Teddy bear on the way over here so will you sleep with me instead? I'm hot! I have bigger boobs than Misa!

**Molly: **No problem :). Okay, L-san, go ahead!

**L: **I would arrest you if you glomped me, but seeing as you recognize my intelligence, I guess it would be ok. And I guess I love you too. Heh, hey, Raito-kun, this one hates you.

**Light: **Yeah, I can see that. I hate you too, Sushi-chan. Hey leather queen! You're up next.

**Mello: **Gimme that goddamn chocolate! Now! Hairstyler? Please. I do it myself. No one can do it like Mr. Sexy Superior Mello.

**Matt: **You tell 'em baby! Oh yeah, Near. Looks like you're also hated by this one.

**Near: **Not to worry. I shall use the power of the albinism on her. Or him. Whichever gender this human claims to be.

**Molly: **…Misa, your turn now.

**Misa: **Like, omg, no! But you can borrow them! Hehe. Ooo, Matt-kun is up next.

**Matt: **If you don't hate me, then why would you want to stab me? Is it to see what happens? If so, this is what will happen: I will bleed blood from the inside out, and depending if I get to a hospital in time or not, I can develop a bad infection, and possibly die. Is that what you want?

**Everyone: **Fuck no!

**Light: **Fuck yeah!

**Molly: **Kill Kira! After Ryuk answers his question.

**Ryuk: **Umm, sure. But first, tell me your real name, since I can't see you through a computer.

**Molly: **-gigglesnort- More questions!

* * *

**Kawaii Shinigami: **Greetings. I have several questions I must ask. First I must thank you for doing this. It made my day 88% more amazing.

Mello: If you had to go a week either without chocolate or two weeks without Matt-kun wich would you choose?

Matt: If a Death Note video game was released only they did not include you as a character would you still play it?

L: Chocolate or Vanilla? Do you prefer the iceing or the cake part of a cake?

Near: I am really short, can't tan, and have white-blonde hair (that I do not dye) and people always ask me if I am albino or if I am a vampire(I am neither) Could you give me adviceon what to say to them seeing as you are in a similar situation?

Light: On average, how many apples does Ryuk eat a day?

Matsuda: You need more love! What is your favorite person?

**Molly: **Aww you're welcome Kawaii Shinigami-san. Glad it made your day! Ok, Mello-kun. You're up.

**Mello: **Oh fuck that. I'd rather go without chocolate. Without Matt for two weeks, every night I'd be deprived of some awesome-

**Matt: **Mello!

**Mello: **ass-kicking in video games. Matty, your turn.

**Matt: **-facepalm- Well hell yeah I'd still play! I mean come one, any game with a sexy ass Mello in it is worth playing. 'Kay L-san you're next!

**L: **Mmm, chocolate please.

**Mello: **Chocolate's mine, bitch!

**Molly: **-tranquilizes Mello-

**L: **Thank you. As I was saying, chocolate please. And I more or less prefer the icing part, please. It's filled with more sugar.

**Molly: **Oh my. Okay, Near-kun. Kawaii Shinigami-chan needs advice.

**Near: **I can read. Hmm, I can tan, because I'm just _that _awesome.

**Light: **Tch, my ass you are.

**Near: **Need I remind a certain psycho who was killed?

**Light: **Urgh!

**Near: **Anyways, just tell people that your body cells are retarded and racist, and won't let the darker cells join your lighter cells.

**Molly: **I think Mello gave him weed again. Kira-kun, your turn!

**Light: **Geez. Ryuk eats like fifty apples a day. I'm surprised he doesn't get diarrhea.

**Ryuk: **That's because I'm a shinigami, genius. I don't use the restroom. Sheesh, and I purposefully dropped the Death Note for _you? _You've gotta be kidding.

**Molly: **Heh. –gigglesnort- Well Matsuda has arrived! He's my favorite 'cause he's so…inexperienced and young.

**Matsuda: **-blush-

**Molly: **Aww! 'Kay, go ahead and answer please!

**Matsuda: **Yes, I do need more love. Oh! And, umm, Raito-kun is my favorite, even though he turned out to be evil and Kira.

**Molly: **They're the same thing.

**Matsuda: **Right.

**Molly: **Ok, that's all for today! I know I promised the wedding, but I'm still working on it! For the questions I didn't answer, my apologies! They'll be answered for sure tomorrow!

* * *

**AfterNote: Fer sure I'll get the wedding up and running soon! Promise!**


	10. Round Nine

**BeforeNote: I know I keep saying I'll have the wedding soon, but I'm writing it down first instead of typing. Why? Because my laptop is still broken, and the public library only gives one hour a day on the computer. So it gives me one hour to type up the written answers AND the other chapters for my multi-chapter story, 'Babysitting Project'. So my deepest apologies for unkept promises.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.**

**

* * *

**

**UryuisHOT: **Ohh, rainbow flavored lol XD love the story, everyone's very funny especially Mello XD and Matt :) I like chocolate XD Yay for randomness, question time

Matt- What do you love about Mello?

Mello- What do you love about Matt?

Mello- Why do you like chocolate?

L- What do you love about Light?

Light- What do you love about L?

Near- You are a sheep, deal with it lol

P.S. I think the story should be rated T for Language and Suggestive themes XD

**Molly: **Why, thank you. I love chocolate more! 'Kay, Matt-kun. Go!

**Matt: **I love the way he eats his chocolate, especially when he _licks _it. It reminds me of all the times he licks-

**Mello: **Mail Jeevas!

**Matt: **-the metal poles when they're covered in ice.

**Molly: **Umm, Mello-kun, your turn.

**Mello: **Right. I love the way his fingers move when he's playing video games. They flex a lot and it reminds me when he uses his fingers to stretch-

**Matt: **Mello!

**Mello: **-cookie dough, to make cookies.

**Molly: **Well _that _was unexpected. Mello-kun, your next question is why you love chocolate.

**Mello: **'Cause, hello. It's _chocolate._ Oh look, L-chan has a love question!

**L: **So it seems. I love his dominant and manipulative side. I especially love it when he uses that side in-

**Light: **Lawliet!

**L: **-job interview. It makes the managers give him the job right away. Light-chan, it's your turn.

**Light: **I love his spidery fingers. They're good for-

**L: **Light!

**Light: **-foot massages.

**Molly: **You all will be the end of me some day. Okay, last question is for Near-kun. Well, it's more of a statement and command. Near-kun, what is your response?

**Near: **I am an _albino _sheep. I quite like it.

**Molly: **That was…anyways. Well UryuisHOT-chan, I changed the rating after all ;D. Next questions!

* * *

**Xparamorexbabex: **Mello- Have you ever tried to write a song about yourself by rhyming your name with 'hello' and 'jello'? If not... you should try it sometime!

Matt- Do you ever get annoyed that Mello's name rhymes with cool stuff, and your name only rhymes with words like 'cat' 'fat' and 'sat'?

L- How do you balance your love for Light with your hatred for Kira?

Light- Why does everyone seem to hate you or think you're stupid? I think you are almost as smart as L and Near, and deserve more credit! :)

**Mello: **Yes. Yes I have. And never again.

**Molly: **Aww, why not Mells?

**Mello: **-shudder-

**Molly: **Umm, okay. Matt-kun's turn now.

**Matt: **…only the fans would include 'fat' to rhyme with my name. But no, I don't get jealous. Only sad. –sniffle-

**Molly: **Don't make Matt-kun cry!

**Mello: **Yeah! No one makes my love cry, except me!

**Matt: **Exactly. Wait, what?

**Mello: **-snigger-

**Molly: **Umm, L-san. I believe it's your turn.

**L: **Right. –sigh-

**Light: **Hey! Why was that an _exasperated _sigh?

**L: **No reason. I, well, umm…I've no answer to that. Well, actually, I believe I can get Light-kun to be the way he used to be before he found the Porn Note.

**Molly: **You mean Death Note.

**L: **That too. Either way, before he found either of those notes, he was pure and innocent.

**Everyone: **-stare-

**Molly: **Oh my. Light/Kira-kun, you're next. And hurry up! There's other people waiting!

**Light: **Why do they hate me? Or think I'm stupid? It's because they're jealous of my perfect-awesome-sexiness. And my hair.

**Mello: **Not _this _shit again.

**Light: **_Anyways. _I'm smarter than the Panda and Sheep.

**Molly: **Right. That's why you died.

**Light: **-fumes-

**Molly: **More questions!

* * *

**Lii and Eii: **Hello, it`s me, eii, again.

Light: WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID? on a lighter note, you`re very nice looking.

Misa: i just wanted to say light doesnt actually love you. HA.

mello: i`ve discovered a personality result was near, and my friend dii`s result was mello.

also, what are your opinions of L?

L: you`re awesome... have you ever slept? for how long?

Near: i`m beginning to like you over mello. anyway, how old are you?

Ryuk: what`s the wierdest thing about humans?

matsuda: good job killing light. *pats back* how manly.

...that`s all.

**Light: **Thank- Hey! I'm not stupid!

**Molly: **Next, please.

**Misa: **That's not true! Light-chan loves me very much? Right, sweetie? Hey, where'd he go?

**Mello: **He jumped off of a building, to avoid certain death from you. Why the hell does this woman keep returning anyways?

**Molly: **To spite her. Anyways, Mello-kun. Eii-chan has a comment.

**Mello: **Ha! You got Near. But your friend could never be me. And L is the greatest guy to ever walk this damn planet! He's my idol. Ok, L. You've got a question.

**L: **I've slept maybe twice my whole life. And it was four hours each time. Near-kun, your turn.

**Near: **Please don't. He'll come after me more. I'm..umm…

**Molly: **Permanent brain damage! Just ignore him. But Ryuk, answer your question.

**Ryuk: **The weirdest thing is that they seem to have this god-complex and inferiority complex. There's more to that answer, and I can go on for ages, but we're running out of time. Oh, and that said, Molly is planning Matt and Mello's wedding as we speak.

**Molly: **True that. Well, see ya next chapter!


	11. Wedding Day

**BeforeNote: I'm so effing sorry! I kept you guys waiting for so long! But never fear, because the wedding scene is here! Well, it's got a little surprise at the end, because you all deserve it. Anyways, for the questions I didn't answer, I will be making a second 'Ask Matt and Mello', so your questions will be answered then.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, or Shurijo Castle, or Okinawa, or Japan.

* * *

Matt and Mello's wedding was today, but no one could find the gamer or the blond. Their best friends and rare guests were becoming worried, and they searched and searched throughout Shurijo Castle for the two. Yes, they picked Shurijo Castle in Okinawa to get married. Why? Because Matt has some weird fascination with Japanese castles, and Mello just likes the idea of playing Emperor, while Matt plays helpless servant girl and…**

Anyways, L, Light, Misa, Beyond, and many others searched for the two lovers, until L found both of them.

In a small room.

Making out like there was no tomorrow.

"Ahem." L cleared his throat, and the blond and redhead jumped about ten feet away from each other.

Tentatively, L mentioned something about traditions. "I don't quite believe in those western customs, but, isn't it bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?"

"Uhh," Matt said stupidly, while rubbing his head awkwardly and blushing. "T-technically, I'm not a bride."

"You would have been if you'd have just worn the freaking dress." Mello said in a somewhat annoyed voice. He had stood up and was brushing himself off, then handed his hand to Matt to help the gamer off of his butt.

"Well, that would ruin my pride as a man!" Matt shot back, but his still-blushing face seemed to contradict his statement.

Before Mello could give some snappy retort, L opened his mouth and spoke. "Hey, you two can discuss this later. The other guests, as well as myself, are waiting for you two. Now, Mello, you have to go in first, and I'll bring Watari to walk him down the aisle."

Mello and Matt nodded, and Mello walked out the door after blowing his Matt a kiss. Matt smiled adoringly, and L spoke into the Bluetooth. "I've found them. Please return to seats, Minna-san. Mello is going into the main parlor now. Watari, I'm with Matt in the left wing, first hallway, third door."

Matt couldn't hear Watari's response, but exactly two minutes later, the old man waltzed into the room, and held out his arm to Matt. Matt took it gently, and the three of them headed out into the main parlor.

* * *

Whispers were heard throughout the big room, as Mello waited patiently in front of the altar. Although their wedding was in Japan, they were still having a traditional western ceremony.

To tell the truth, Mello was quite nervous, and a little anxious. He knew Matt wouldn't chicken out, or get 'cold feet', but still, he couldn't help the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach. Perhaps it had to deal with the fact that Near was his best man, and Misa was the wretched maid-of-whores, err, honor. Either way, Mello was damn nervous, but he wouldn't let it show.

Soon, the crowd quieted down, as the doors opened, and Watari – with an equally nervous Matt attached to his arm – walked gracefully down the aisle. The crowd stood up, and smiled happily at Matt, who smiled back and blushed.

Mello couldn't believe his eyes. Matt, even in his tuxedo, looked absolutely gorgeous. Stupidly, he grinned. At last, Matt made it to the altar, standing in front of Mello, who shyly whispered 'hi,' and Matt smiled. They took each other's hands, and the priest, or, Roger, began.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the presence of God, the Holy Virgin, the task force, the SPK, numerous unnamed guests, and the rest of you brats who grew up at Wammy's, to witness the blessed bonding of these two hellions, umm, lovers."

Everyone laughed quietly, but Matt and Mello only looked into each other's eyes, smiling, and trying to tell each other how much they loved one another, through the power of telepathy.

The old man droned on and on, occasionally throwing in the ridiculous comment or two, and then it was time for the two to say their vows, and finally, Roger said what everyone had been waiting for: "You may now kiss the…groom," and the two lovers shared a sweet kiss.

A loud squeal was heard throughout the parlor. It was none other than Misa, of course. "Oh my Raito! Misa-Misa is so happy! It's about time!"

Mello and Matt were hardly annoyed, though, as they walked hand in hand down the aisle and into the reception room. In the room, large tables were set up, and by the back wall was a plethora of food, buffet-style. At the end of the endless food, was a table with a satin white tablecloth, with a chocolate wedding cake. The cake was ten huge layers, each filled with various sorts of frosting, filling, and fruit.

"Woah," Matt said breathlessly, and Mello kissed him again, leading him the long table at the end of the other wall. They sat, and waited for their guests.

* * *

"Alright alright, Minna-san. Quiet down." L said into the microphone on top of the stage by the dance floor. "Now that the dance is over, Near, Beyond, and I will say a few words about these two. Me first, though."

The crowd laughed loudly.

"Matt and Mello, you two are my young, err, wards." Awkwardly, L finished the rest of his toast, and soon after, Near and Beyond finished theirs. Everyone in the room, however, was a little freaked out at Beyond's speech, since it had something to do with blazing red names and numbers, and jam. They soon forget about the weird man and his toast, and went back to dancing.

At the end of the night, everyone was quite drunk, except for the two married men. As they headed back to their hotel suite, Mello asked Matt why he didn't touch any alcohol.

"Well why didn't you?" Matt asked, trying to avoid the question.

"Because _you _weren't drinking, and I didn't want to be drunk while you were sober." Mello said, opening the door to their suite, and letting Matt in first. "Now, why didn't you drink? You always jump at the first chance to consume alcohol."

Matt led Mello by his hand to the bed, and sat him down on it. "Mells," he said slowly. "I'm pregnant. That's why I didn't drink."

Mello was a bit confused, and asked, "Are you sure?"

Nodding, Matt reached in his bag and pulled out a men's pregnancy test. He handed it to Mello, who stared at the little pink plus sign, indicating that the gamer was indeed pregnant. Matt looked away in nervousness, wondering how Mello would react. He began to feel anxious, until Mello gently tackled him to the bed, overjoyed that they would have a screaming, crying, pooping baby in their lives.

Matt sighed in contentment, and let Mello prove his love to him for the rest of the night.

* * *

**AfterNote: I would have had them say their vows, but I'm not good with that kind of fluffy stuff. And the part about them sharing a "sweet kiss" made me…uh…squeeze my face cheeks. Heh, like I said, I'm no good with fluff. But yes, Matt is pregnant now. And the whole "men's pregnancy test" thing doesn't exist. Duh. Heh, well I hope you all enjoyed it. Stay tuned for the sequel ;).**

**SideNote: Shurijo Castle is real. It's in Okinawa :). I went to Okinawa in June 2010, and it's beautiful there. The castle is really neat too, but one side of it was still under construction. Either way, it's marvelous! I might post pictures of it soon, but I don't know how to make links. Does someone wanna show me how to make links on my profile? Heh, I'm slow.**


End file.
